Want to get to know me a little better?

Here’s your chance to snigger at some of the skeletons that might be hanging in my closet.

Everyone is curious and wants to learn more about the people around them.

Listing a few ‘little known’ facts about yourself gives others a greater picture of who you are.

Here are 30 little known facts about me, Simon Dainton…

Remember… Don’t laugh!

1. I was born in Clapham in 1972. I’m half English, quarter Welsh and, quarter Scottish, but I speak with the Queen’s English!

2. I sang solo in the choir at school but can’t sing as an adult…

3. I’ve appeared on TV twice in my life – once in a Nativity Play when I was 8 and once on ITN News last year.

4. I lived in the South of France for 6 months and was fluent in French.

5. I can touch my nose with my tongue

6. I jogged up Ayres Rock in Australia to catch the sunrise. I can still visualise the sun rising over the red earth plains.

7. I do 100 push ups a day – no excuses

8. I fell into crocodile infested waters near the Indian Ocean, and swam in a creek inhabited by a freshwater crocodile in Australia.

9. Sometimes I get butterflies before a workout

10. Hippos nearly capsized my raft in Kenya as they passed underneath!

11. I competed in 1 Triathlon and hated it!

12. I climbed Mount Kenya and avoided altitude sickness…

13. I cry at sad movies

14. I love the smell of petrol and freshly cut grass

15. My biggest gripe is people that don’t say please or thank you

16. I can still visualise thinking I was drowning as a child

17. I turned my wardrobe into a tardis when I was 9!

18. I want to trek the Himalayas and visit Tibet

19. I’ve had 1 celebrity client… maybe 2…

20. I passed my driving test on the 5th attempt!!

21. My girlfriend is 10 years younger than me…

22. I have a unique way of tying my shoelaces

23. I still scare myself in the dark

24. I’ve had one operation in my life – when I was 6

25. I’ve never broken a bone in my body

26. I’ve already decided on the names for my future children;
Max, Isobel and Lilly

27. I can’t skip, roll my R’s or dance with any conviction!

28. I’ve been made redundant once, but lived to tell the tale!

29. I love the feeling of digging my hands into dry sand

30. 2 of my least favourite foods are rhubarb and gammon steak, but not together! (Saying that, if you served me either I would still eat them)

Interesting, irrelevant, silly or incisive…

Whatever they may add up to be, they still give me plenty of conversation topics for parties, breaking the ice, and having something to say, if ever I find myself trapped in a lift!

Why not try and list 30 little-known facts about yourself?

You might be surprised what you conjure up!

Don’t get me wrong… I don’t mean the actual complaint itself.

The very fact they are complaining means that I can potentially help them.

What I mean are the excuses that tumble out of their mouths for why they can’t seem to lose it!

Men, you have your own faults, but for today let’s focus on the ladies.

I hear women say; “Ooh no! I ‘m not lifting weights. I’ll get bulky and look like a man! It’s not natural!”

Girls, you need to realise that to successfully lose that excess weight and keep it off, while looking great instead of a saggy balloon, you need to weight train. NO question of it.

If you believe that you can achieve the body of your dreams by restricting yourself to jogging or using the exercise bike, then you are either genetically extremely lucky or you are spending hour upon HOUR locked away in a gym somewhere, where your friends and family have forgotten that you even exist!

While I don’t mean shifting ridiculously heavy weights and chalking your hands, I do mean lifting weight that challenges YOU.

The days of restricting yourselves to light pink dumbbells for high reps are over!

You need to start with your own bodyweight – push ups, squats, lunges, step ups, planks…

Once you are proficient, you then move on to more challenging resistance than just your bodyweight.

Resistance training increases your lean muscle mass, giving you more shape and more curves. (Plastic surgery on the cheap!)

It leads to more calories being burned, greater stamina, strength and ability to perform the more challenging everyday tasks.

I also hear women say; “Yes, but I barely eat anything and I still can’t lose the weight! My diet is really good!”

Face it girls. If you eat like a bird, you’ll look like one;

Round stomach, puffed out chest and lots of plummage, or the human equivalent, a bum that sticks out a mile!

You need to invest to win!

Invest in quality, nutritious calories. Eat healthy foods and you can actually eat MORE – spread out thinner over the course of the day.

MORE protein (meat, fish, eggs, natural yoghurt, nuts and seeds)
MORE vegetables and fruit
NO Processed junk, not even the stuff that is marketed for weight loss – fat loss shakes, chocolate bars and calorie controlled meals
MORE water – the epitomy of good health and wellbeing
NO caffeine – coffee, tea or energy drinks
NO alcohol – drink this and your fat cells start hoarding!

What’s more, a ‘good diet’ doesn’t mean eating a lettuce leaf and a tomato and calling it a salad!

It means putting together PROTEIN + VEGETABLES /FRUIT + WATER… EVERY time you eat….

If you can’t or won’t do these 2 things – eat properly and weight train – DON’T go telling the world that you just can’t seem to get results.

Face the hard truth – you can’t be bothered!

Love her, loathe her, laugh at her or lament her, you no doubt
had strong opinions on reality TV star, Jade Goody, in the past.

Right now, I’m sure that attitude has changed, as you witness her fight for survival being played out in the British media.

Not one of you (or I) would want to switch places with her for even 30 seconds, knowing what she has to face up to in the coming days, weeks and ultimately, final months…

It gets you thinking – about how SHORT life can be.

On the one hand you’re tempted to think;

“Sod it! Just do what you like! Enjoy life!”

You eat too much, you drink too much, you do things that may be bad for your health, and sometimes you can’t be bothered to exercise.

On the other, all of us have to look after ourselves, wanting to be around for our children, our friends and family.

So, do me (and yourself) just one small favour this week please…

Reflect on how precious LIFE is…

Think about how LUCKY you are to live a full and active LIFE…

KEEP IT that way!

Look after yourself, use your body, fill it with healthy and nutritious fuel, and experience a life that is worth living, within your own skin – even just a little bit more than you may currently do.

I appreciate what I have EVERYDAY – and I don’t mean the material things.

I’m sure, when you reflect, you all do too.

So celebrate the fact!

STAY active…

The number of times I hear stories of people who turn, look up, twist or move out of the way suddenly when something takes them by surprise, making them jump and take avoiding action without having a chance to engage the right muscles.

I always hear tales of tweaked backs, strained necks and pulled muscles from people who just don’t know how to move as efficiently as they need to, in times of quick thinking action.

For a population that spends the majority of its time sedentarily sat down – at a desk, on a couch or in a car, 21st century man has forgotten how to move effectively.

Consider just some of the movements that you may have to perform, that may take your body by ‘surprise’;

Getting up off the floor
Picking something up
Turning over
Lifting overhead
Pushing something
Lifting up and turning
Turning side to side
Lifting something heavy from the floor
Jumping up
Crawling
Coming down onto hands and knees
Climb up
Climb over something
Climb under something
Dipping under
Pulling and Twisting
Pushing and Twisting
Side Stepping
Changing direction
Crouching
Lift luggage in and out of a car

If all your body is accustomed to is hours of sitting on comfortable chairs with little movement or activity, your natural movement patterns are bound to get a little rusty.

Keep them ‘well oiled’.

Exercise isn’t just about losing fat, getting flat stomachs, bigger arms or more shapely legs – although those can be pretty big bonuses!

Exercise is about keeping the body ‘fine-tuned’ – able to cope with everyday movements that should cause no surprise.

Unless you road test your body on a regular basis, nasty surprises are likely to spring up and catch you unawares…

2. Give the standard Sandwich the elbow and try this instead; slice a chicken breast, chop up some peppers or vegetables of choice and wrap them in a romaine lettuce leaf. Tastes good and cuts out the bread too!

2 ladies in the States are in serious health after agreeing to let a ‘fake’ doctor inject them with industrial silicone, in the hope that they’d end up with butt cheeks like Jennifer Lopez.

I mean, how simple do you have to be to believe that a shapely, contoured backside can be ‘moulded’ with one simple injection? Would the gyms up and down the land, not to mention across the globe be empty if that were the truth?

The ONLY way to earn yourself a ‘top butt’ is to put the work in – same old story…

Eat sensibly and cut out sugar to uncover your cheeks, and then work hard in the gym to sculpt and ‘tone’ them, if that’s the word you want to use.

With that in mind, here are my top 10 butt ‘miracle cures’ that can be practiced at home or in the gym, for miraculous results.

Unfortunately, ‘miraculous’ doesn’t equate to easy. Nothing in life worth ‘owning’ is…

So, in ascending order, from beginner to more advanced, here are my 10 favourite butt shapers:

Floor Bridge
Alternate Arm and Leg Raise
Static Lunge
Step Up
Hip Pull Through
Front Loaded Squat
Reverse Lunge
Squat Jump
Bulgarian Split Squat
Alternate Jumping Lunge

If you work with my as a client, you will have used many of these in your quest to shape your butt.

If not, you can type any one of them into a search engine and find out how they’re done.

BUT, as always, unless you get your ‘butt’ into gear and sort out your nutrition, your ‘ass’ will continue to own that extra padding…

I know, I blatantly stole that strapline for this article, but with good reason…

Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce you to what could be the biggest saviour in your diet…

BOUNCE Protein Balls…

Packed full of quality protein and good fats, these pocket snacks are JUST the thing you need to keep you going between main meals, and what’s more they’re wheat, gluten and dairy free!

They’re also 100% natural and low carb! What more could you ask for?

They come in a variety of flavours; almond, cashew and pecan and… wait for it… ‘fudgie walnut’!

Yum yum!

I wholeheartedly support the eating of these little treasures.

They pop into your bag, they’re healthy and they’re cheap too.

A box of 12 costs just £15.99

You can check the range out at Bouncefoods.com

You can also check out your nearest stockist by typing in your postcode on the ‘Stockists’ page.

So, if you’re looking for a great ‘on-the-run’ snack – THIS is IT!

I expect to see some balls in your bags very soon…

I’m not sure what to make of the latest research… (i.e. let’s ask 10 random people their views and then take an average to represent the entire nation!)

Apparently, when asked what their biggest addictions were, the under 30′s replied;

1. Coffee
2. Chocolate
3. Facebook

Alcohol and Drugs didn’t even make the top 10!

Can you believe that? No alcohol in the top 10??

Fantastic news!

But, what worries me more is that, as a growing nation of Facebookers, we’re going to be sitting at our computers even longer, meaning skipping meals and relying on coffee and chocolate to keep us alert, leading to greater obesity and less activity.

Can you believe it? Facebook an ‘addiction’??

I shouldn’t laugh, but a story in yesterday’s paper made me giggle.

A girl who booked a holiday to Costa Rica only realised she had got the wrong flight when she hopped into a cab and showed the driver where she needed to go, and was told she was in the wrong country! Instead of Costa Rica, she had been flown to Puerto Rico!

1,300 miles off course! Apparently there some some kind of ‘cock-up’ at the Travel Agents and the wrong flight code had been entered… So she ended up spending another £800 on flights to get back to her original destination, losing 4 days of her holiday!

Oops!

That’s what happens when you take your eye off the ball…

A small slip up here and there, a moment of distraction, and before you know it, all chaos breaks loose! Sound familiar?

A word to the wise; keep an eye on what you’re eating. Look out for potential pitfalls and food ‘hazards’. Look for alternatives and don’t let yourself go miles off course, by relaxing and not forward planning.

If you want to get to your destination asap – a smaller waist, slimmer legs, smaller bum etc – then take minimal wrong turns, shortcuts or dead ends.

Steer clear of dodgy agents like wine merchants, fast food joints and snack shops.

Instead plot your course, stick to it and get to your final destination in the quickest possible time…

Otherwise, find yourself ‘miles’ from where you want to be!

When his doctor told him that at 26 stone he needed to lose weight or risk dying, the man took it upon himself to try something different… No kidding!

On a funny note, my guess is, that with heavy and persistent garlic breath, the 160 pounds of weight he lost was in fact his girlfriend, as she ran for the hills to avoid the smell!